How You Sayyyy?

If you've got premature ejaculation issues then I highly recommend hooking up with a Brazilian girl. Now don't get me wrong it's not gonna change anything about your existing medical condition, you're still gonna be using Quicken as your personal finance software...But the language barrier between English and Portugese is so strong and sturdy that NO fucking words overlap!

Alot of languages like Spanish and French sound similar and have alot of overlapping words and phrases. English and Portugese have fucking nothing in common. So Last night when I "jumped the gun" and she asked what happened, I looked at her and said "Bricken?" with a boyish look on my face...Which is a combination of brick and broken I guess. She had no idea what that was (neither did I but that's not the goddamn point.) She looked back at me and said "Bricken?" And I looked right back at her and frowned "Bricken"...

The best part about it was that she wanted me to think she knew what I meant so she goes "ohhhhh okay, Bricken...I see"...No you don't, but that's perfectly alright. I didn't want to say the words "too fast" when she asked me what happened, because her english is good enough (but still piss poor) to understand that so I made up a word and she accepted it completely. She had no idea that I "fled the scene" wayyyy to early. For all she knows Bricken could mean I gotta get outta bed and walk to the kitchen because I smell something burning (and while I'm there I'll throw away my used condom and take a nap on the living room couch.)

These are just the luxuries you don't have with American sweethearts...Imagine taking down a filthy Jersey Shore prize, being a two pump chump, and looking at her dough eyed while "Bricken" spilled from your lips...She'd be like "Bricken? What the fuck you tawkin' about, bricken. Whatta ya fuckin' speakin' Portugese, we're in America you shithead. I know what you did, and pretty fuckin' soon awlll my fuckin' friends ahhh gonna know too!"

I vote for Brazil.