AND I SWEARRR...

I've always been a huge Three Muskateers fan. Their master swordplay and unprecedented solidarity are pretty fucking inspiring. I'd feel pretty goddamn safe having these crazy bastards on my side in a fight. "Oh you bullies think you're pretty fucking cool today, huh? Real bunch of tough guys. Well, before you go shovin' me in a locker, how 'bout you take a look inside first, and make sure there's plenty of room. Go ahead, take a peek. Don't be shy".

I couldn't think of a cooler situation than a school yard bully opening a locker and getting sliced to bits by three wielding daggers. Followed by a whisper from the inside "and one for all...ya cunt".

I just don't understand why they have to wear so many fucking clothes. They literally have 86 layers on. Cloaks, hats, galoshes, heavy belt buckles, etc. Must be an absolute bitch to get ready in the morning. If you had a duel at 7am, you'd have to lay out your outfit the night before and wake up at 4:30 just to get dressed and give yourself a chance to be on time.

"Listen man, I'm gonna have to push that duel back to 8:30am."

"What do you mean, we've had this bloodbath on the books for weeks now. By the way, you're my sworn enemy, how the hell did you get this number."

"That's not important. What is important is that I can't find my 9th layer chemise that I usually wear under my 10th layer cloak. I've been getting ready for 6 hours now. Gimme a break, and cut me some slack, will ya."

"Death waits for no man."

"Ya, ya, ya. That was pretty cool, the way you said that, and everything. But I gotta air out my knee high leather boots, they absolutely stink after I wore them with no socks two weeks ago."

Just wayyyy to many clothes on their backs. They look like 4 year old's who somehow got into their mother's closet, and PUT EVERYTHING on at once. They stumble into the living room and any adult in there sprints for their camera. Then that's the picture you show them at their intervention, when they are 16 year old, smack addicted freaks, and you wanna remind them of how much of a "joy" they were when they were younger. Just a game of dress-up gone wrong.

Who the hell could sword fight with a blanket on. I can't even SLEEP with a blanket on when it's hot, nevermind wave a 3 foot blade around skillfully while the sun beats down on my creepy French mustache. It kind of makes me wonder just how selfless they really fucking were.

"All for one, and one for all!" Yea they really must have had a strong brotherhood.

"Athos, you know I love you like my next akin. I would give you the shirt off my back."

"That's 'cuz you have 7 more on underneath it. You're not fooling anyone man. You're tryin' to make room in your closet. I don't want anymore of your hand-me-downs. I saw you in Niketown the other day looking a sweatsuits. You really think you're gonna get away with quitting Muskateer-ing, and pursuing track and field. We've all seen you throw a javelin...YAWN."

Then all of a sudden an R&B group comes along and decides to name themselves "All 4 One". What a croc of shit that was. They basically fell off the face of the planet, most likely due to a breakup. Some brotherhood, huh. What the fuck are a bunch of flimsy R&B singers doing naming their group after an old Muskateer adage anyways. Especially if they aren't even gonna live up to the title.

"Hey Donny, you like the 3 Muskateers?

"Playa, please. I like the candy bar if that's what you mean."

"No, man, the dudes...You know from da book? They say that All for One rigamarole."

"That's it yo...Dat right dair should be the name of our group. All 4 One! I fuckin' love it. Now let's go make one hit song and then break-up 'cuz one of us is hogging the limelight, and the other just can't take living in the shadows anymore."