Nappy Holidays

I know I should have come out and said this a long time ago, but I think J. Holiday's song, "Put You To Bed", may be about slipping a honey, trick, bitch, shawty, rump shaakah, etc., some non-street legal form of anesthesia and initiating penetration. Thereby making the alleged "boo" the final piece to a J. Holiday/Sandman threesome. Big J may be the one who needs the pillow and a warm glass of milk the most. He looks arguably burnt out, most likely after staying up for nights on end after releasing the "joke" version of the song (that was only meant for his friends) onto public Top 40 radio. What an unfortunate snafu. Someone fucked up bad, and forgot to replace the statutory assault version with the much cleaner, non-forceful coma induced, anal punishment version into the envelope that was sitting in J's "outgoing" mail bin. I hope J's human resources team took action and fired that intern with just cause, because the girl in that song is having an unconscious epiphany: That you CAN be in two places at once - dreamland and creamland. Here's a sample...

And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

[Verse 2:]
I'm staring at you while your sleep
You replaced it for beauty
Put my face up in your neck and breathe (aww, breathe)
Take you into my senses
Wake up, it's time to finish
Round two, It's round two
Matter of fact it's closer to three

She like, "how long I been sleep?"
Shorty, kisses turn into the sweetest dreams
Like give it to me
And I can feel her tell me
My angel this is wonderful
Thanks, for letting me bless ya
Come down, fly, right, drift back into heaven
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Love you til' your eyes roll back? Really J? Most people don't actually fall asleep willfully like that. I've actually never watched someone doze off (which makes me humungously less creepy than you), but I'm also certain that the only time someone's eyes roll in back of their head is when they are being pumped full of hardcore drugs that are frying their brain and turning their retina's into rolodex's. You're a creep dude...And you're extremely tired...Maybe you need a little taste of your own medicine...A Midnight raping/beating from Chris Brown might be just what the doctor ordered. You'll be a little out of sorts the next day, I'm sure...

"What's wrong with you this morning J...What did you wake up on the dong side of the bed again?"