Gettin' Your Tubes Tied Is Cool...Knot

I would strongly advise females not to get their tubes tied, for one reason and one reason only: Alot of Doctors are whack jobs who will do fucked up shit to keep things interesting while you're sucking down sleeping gas.

If, every day, you had a series of ropes at your disposal and you had to tie them together the same way every single time, you'd probably get a little bored. You'd probably start experimenting with different ties, knots, lengths, tightnesses. Have you ever seen someone try to tie a new knot that has no fucking clue what they are doing? It immediately falls apart and un-knots itself within seconds of finishing. You go to pull it tight for a grand finale, and TAHHDAAAH, its a straight piece of rope again.

What do you think a deranged M.D. would do if presented with the opportunity to either play by the book or tie your tubes in a fucking "cat's paw" for the first time. You better believe he's goin' whiskers baby. The nurse can't say shit. She can only sit there as he pulls more strings than a Yale board member. And if you think he's double checking those knots, you're dead wrong. He gonna stitch you back up real quick and act like nothing ever happened. He'll probly turn to his nurse and say "This never happened. If a word of this gets out, the next thing I'm tying up is you." She might even make a smart ass remark (one she's been waiting for her whole life. One all nurses want to use on the doctor's they slave for) "Go ahead, if it's anything like that last knot, I'll probably get loose in 30 seconds. No wonder why you wear those damn slip on penny loafers everyday, you can't tie a knot to save your life." Then she will smile and say "Damn, that felt good."

All I'm saying is just stick to condoms. Getting your tubes tied is dangerous. You think a poorly tied Lark's Head knot is gonna keep a toddler from getting through. Baby's get outta their cribs and playpens all the time. They aren't smart but sometimes they get lucky, push the right button, hit the right lever, flick the right switch and escape their holding cells. All they would have to do is tamper with that thing for 20 seconds and boom they come sliding down Vagina Drive like a spazzed out ice road trucker, with rope burn to boot. But at least he'll have a cool birth story. "Yea Jimmy when you were little, you tore through your moms slippery ropes and swung outta her snickerdoodle like a fucking baby Tarzan. That's why you're so determined to this day. You did what it takes to get yourself into this world, and goddamn it you're gonna do what it takes to make sure you're always successful in everything you do."

Better than mine: DAD - "Matty boy, let me tell you, we were at the abortion clinic 6 minutes too late. 6 goddamn minutes! Who knew they changed their hours from 8pm - 5pm to 9pm to 4pm. 6 measly minutes! That's why every 6 minutes you should count your lucky stars that you're old man isn't punctual."